Things I learned over the past few weeks:
1. Little Magician has a face for the camera.
2. If babies can sit still for 3 minutes, they can get a nice start on that college fund.
3. I’m not sure if I’m ready to be a showbiz mom.
Sometime in July, a friend of mine sent me a link to a casting call looking for “Black and South Asian babies between 1-4 months” for an ad campaign. “Little Magician is a cutie,” she wrote. “You should submit her photos!”
The best Instagram-edited photos of LM were sent.
A call-back asking her to come for an audition was received.
An adventure ensued.
I was wondering what kind of audition process a 1-month-old could go through, but it wasn’t long before I felt like the one under scrutiny.
The babies were brought into the audition room in pairs, so LM and I were joined by another adorable little 4-month-old (who we’ll call Bobby) and his mother. (sidenote: shout out to the mom who was getting her newborn “Frederick” psyched up for the audition. “Get your game face on, Freddy! This is your time. YOUR TIME!” is all I remember hearing.) After cooing over the babies, the director gave us the lowdown on who their client was (a global charity) and what the babies would be doing (laying on a mat).
“One question,” the director said. “What are the babies’ sleep schedules?”
Bobby’s mom started rattling off his sleep patterns, complete with time of day and length of nap. As the director turned to ask me the same, I realized one important thing: I had no clue what LM’s sleep schedule was. Does a baby even have a schedule at 1 month? I barely knew what day it was, and now I had to come up with an answer about the most elusive thing to me at that time – sleep.
The most I could muster was a chuckle and my honest response:
“She sleeps when she wants. She’ll sleep after a feeding…but uh, she eats when she wants. So, um…it’s all up to her.”
I can’t remember what the director said in response, but I distinctly remember feeling like a dummy. Of course they’d want a baby with a set sleep schedule, so that they can more easily build the filming schedule around them. Of course. I just looked at LM and silently apologized.
I pulled myself out of my shame and self-pity just in time to hear the director give us our next orders.
“So, what we’ll have you do now is just swaddle up the babies nice and tight, then lay them down.”
Let me tell y’all something. Two somethings, actually – LM absolutely detests being swaddled, and I CAN’T SWADDLE. At all.