The 'Single For A Week' Diaries
March 17, 2015 Why did I agree to this?
HomieLuva and Little Magician are leaving for New York City tomorrow, and I'm sitting here wondering what I'm really going to do with myself for a week while they're gone.
Sure - it'll mean a few nights of uninterrupted sleep and a few days of zero familial responsibility, but at what cost? Despite what he says, will HomieLuva really going to be OK travelling with her and all her accoutrements by himself? And what is it going to be like when she realizes she hasn't seen me for a week?
I've never gone a day without my little baby. I don't like to go for too long without my big baby. So, a week? I don't know.
March 18, 2015
I kept it together through the day and all the way to the airport. I parked, helped HomieLuva check in, and I was cool. But once I reached as far as I could go with them, to the point where travellers and non-travellers say their farewells, my fortitude cracked. I was crying, Little Magician was giggling, and HomieLuva was just excited to get to their gate. "You'll be fine," he said. "We'll be back before you know it," he said. I didn't believe it, but decided to put on my best brave face for the long walk back to the car.
Instead of rushing back to an empty house, I went to a homegirl's for dinner and a long-overdue catch-up session. I planned to leave after dinner. Then I said I'd go after watching Empire. Then I got a call from HomieLuva that they arrived safely, and I stayed to watch Catfish. Then I stayed a bit more until I figured I had overstayed my welcome, and finally headed home.
It's quiet. Quiet seems weird, but here we are.
March 20, 2015
HomieLuva's been good about keeping in touch, sending me pictures and videos, and putting me on speakerphone with Little Magician while retelling her reactions to my voice. He's having a great time catching up with his family, and she's loving playing with her NYC cousins. The days seem to be moving slowly and I miss them - but I'd be lying if I said that the last couple of full nights' sleep didn't have a sista feeling brand new.
(Don't tell Little Magician I said that, though.)
In keeping with the Me Time theme of being left behind while my loves take a bite out of the Big Apple, I decided to get my hair done. It felt nice (and a bit odd) to not have to rush home to take care of somebody, but it felt even better to come home with a beautiful head of hair that required no work on my end.
I grabbed some McDonald's on the way home and was happy that I didn't have to sneak it in the house, away from the prying, anti-McD's eyes of my husband. For real though - what addictive agent do they put in those fries?
March 22, 2015
This weekend really feels like a throwback to my days as a bachelorette who lived on her own and came and went as she pleased. Last night I got dolled up and headed to Yorkville to celebrate a girlfriend's birthday, then slept over at said girlfriend's place - watching TV, talking mess and cracking jokes - and I had a ball. Going out, staying up late, sleeping in...I used to just, do this?
This afternoon I recorded a video of myself talking and singing Little Magician's favourite song "If You're Happy And You Know It" and sent it to HomieLuva. He messaged me back to say that as soon as she saw it, she started laughing and clapping along. Then he messaged me to say he had to stop messaging me - when the video ended she'd cry, so he had to keep it going on repeat 'til she was satisfied. My baby hasn't forgotten about me. Phew.
March 21, 2015
I haven't felt this refreshed in forever. I don't remember the last time I got this quality of sleep, so I'm soaking it up. Stretching out in the bed each morning makes me giggle with delight, so even though I miss cuddling with the boo, a lil bit of space ain't never hurt nobody. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, n' shit, right?
HomieLuva told me that Little Magician and her toddler cousin have been attached at the hip since they met. The videos and pictures definitely aren't doing justice at showing me the new skills she's learning and all the mischief she's getting into, and it hit me today that I've really almost survived a week without her. A week in baby development is like an eternity - so I'm excited to see this new and improved version of Little Magician when she comes home in a couple of days.
Until then..lemme stretch out a bit more before I get up for work.
March 24, 2015
So, I'm feeling a bit Beyonce-ish right now. I took some time to get my eyebrows threaded and got the best Brazilian wax of my life, and I'm a brand new woman. I swear I walked down the street in slow motion with a wind machine aimed in my direction.
HomieLuva and Little Magician are back tomorrow, and my brain is torn in two directions. On one side, I've gotten a bit too used to having Me Time all the time - doing what I want when I want how I want, with no one asking me anything, telling me anything, or needing me to feed/clean/entertain them. In true Taurus form, I love leisure - and once I started making the most of this alone time, I remembered just how much some indulgent self-care matters.
Then on the other hand - I miss my heartbeats way too much. I want to hug my beautiful daughter, hear her giggle, watch her sleep. And as far as HomieLuva goes...well, this Brazilian wax ain't just for my enjoyment.
March 26, 2015
After a delayed flight and a bumpy ride home, my big baby and my little baby finally emerged from baggage claim to the arrivals waiting area. I made sure to give HomieLuva a kiss and hug first, then turned to greet Little Magician in her stroller - admittedly a bit nervous about what her reaction would be.
A slow smile spread across her face, and I imagined she was thinking, "Do I know this lady? Wait - I think I know this lady. YES! I know this lady!" Then she sat up in her chair (which I'd never seen her do before) and stretched her arms out to me.
The airport floor tasted my tears one more time.
I spent the evening cuddling with HomieLuva and watching Little Magician display all the new things she learned to do over the week. I showed him the permanent purple highlights I got, gushed about the fun I had in Yorkville, and vented about the minor and major annoyances that I wanted to share with him all week. He told me his solo travelling parent tales, the scoop on our NYC family, and - of course - how much he missed me. I also told him about my awesome waxing experience too, but that's grown folks' business.
When I went to sleep last night, I had less space in the bed thanks to HomieLuva, and less sleep overall thanks to Little Magician hollering for a diaper change at 4am. All the same, things felt right, and my house felt like a home again. My week as a single lady showed that taking time for me is so crucial - but hopefully it won't take another 7 days away from my family to remind me of that.